The New Year

As the new year dawns upon us it really gets a person thinking. The last couple of days marked on our 365 day calenders gives us time to sit back and reflect on yet another year we just wasted. It reminds us that the hour glass of our year has been flipped over, and we get to relive it over and over again. Certain days bring back certain memories, whether it be filled with happiness, sadness, anger or remorse...we are bound to remember. We will always have those days where we will remember.

My day is the 22nd. I guess you can say it started in November, but the 22nd of every month that now passes is going to be a 22nd that I could have spent with a love that started it all...my first love. Even though some people will sit there and try to tell me to get over it, it isn't worth it - I sit there and remember that a day like the 22nd is a day that both made me and broke me. I will never forget that day...it is true, what they say - that no one forgets their first love.

Cliche to ask for world peace each new year...it's a promise that gets broken time and time again. Why bother asking for it anyway? God is no Santa Claus, God does not listen. World Peace is not going to show up under your tree or in your mailbox one day. You'd be better off asking for money back on your taxes or for your son to not slip and scrape his knee for just one week. It's upsetting when you can sit there and tell yourself that you are used to broken promises, a promise is just like the word "sorry." Both are overused, get broken easily, and don't mean a damn thing anymore in this world.

So the new year, right? A ticker clock reset to count down the same things every year. Same holidays, birthdays, historical events, memorial services, moments in life that you will never forget...it's just another day for me. Another day to wake up, shower, get my clothes on and work. Another day for me to sit there and wish I had someone to be with, as couples come in and out of my view day in and day out.

So what do I want for the new year? I wish it was easier said than done. I want to love. I want to feel wanted and to feel important to someone other than myself. I want to be that shining star for someone special. I want to be accepted and acknowledged for my thoughts and ideas. I also want to wake up from this delusional dream and realize that I'm never going to be able to have this...because people who accept this - don't exist in the world anymore.

Someone prove me wrong, I am waiting.

I am tomorrow

I am tomorrow.

Who am I to judge today?

I am the innocent, breathing in the toxic fumes of yesterday.

Wiping the blood from the torn and broken who cry over the forgotten faces of the children who run the streets at night when Mommy's at work and Daddy's away.

I am the tears that stain the cheeks of the little girls whose innocence were torn from them by the bastards who grew up without a father figure.

I am the eyes of the children who witness the bullet pierce the skin of another - the bullet unaware of color or race.

A target's a target.

I am tomorrow.

Who am I to have a say on the day after?

The future calls us names, yet we do not know what's in store for us.

Another tear, another cry, another prayer?

It all has its path through time and space.

There is no permanent foundation for improvement.

We rely on our technology like an IV in our arms.

Pumping us with the want and need to replace the physical with the technological.

We speak with our hands, thumbs cramped up with the words of a text message that suffocates our lungs to meet face to face with the now stranger on the receiving end of our messages.

Technology has become our heart, our blood flows with the vessels of Myspace and Facebook.

The germs from an open cut festers with friend requests and comments from people who you will never see face to face.

This is the now.

What does tomorrow hold?

What is my job, my place?

If today is bad - will tomorrow be worse?

Am I the cause of a dying generation?

No, I am tomorrow.

The Tool Shed

...I feel like I'm shopping at Home Depot, there are so many god damn tools around me...