As the new year dawns upon us it really gets a person thinking. The last couple of days marked on our 365 day calenders gives us time to sit back and reflect on yet another year we just wasted. It reminds us that the hour glass of our year has been flipped over, and we get to relive it over and over again. Certain days bring back certain memories, whether it be filled with happiness, sadness, anger or remorse...we are bound to remember. We will always have those days where we will remember.
My day is the 22nd. I guess you can say it started in November, but the 22nd of every month that now passes is going to be a 22nd that I could have spent with a love that started it all...my first love. Even though some people will sit there and try to tell me to get over it, it isn't worth it - I sit there and remember that a day like the 22nd is a day that both made me and broke me. I will never forget that day...it is true, what they say - that no one forgets their first love.
Cliche to ask for world peace each new year...it's a promise that gets broken time and time again. Why bother asking for it anyway? God is no Santa Claus, God does not listen. World Peace is not going to show up under your tree or in your mailbox one day. You'd be better off asking for money back on your taxes or for your son to not slip and scrape his knee for just one week. It's upsetting when you can sit there and tell yourself that you are used to broken promises, a promise is just like the word "sorry." Both are overused, get broken easily, and don't mean a damn thing anymore in this world.
So the new year, right? A ticker clock reset to count down the same things every year. Same holidays, birthdays, historical events, memorial services, moments in life that you will never forget...it's just another day for me. Another day to wake up, shower, get my clothes on and work. Another day for me to sit there and wish I had someone to be with, as couples come in and out of my view day in and day out.
So what do I want for the new year? I wish it was easier said than done. I want to love. I want to feel wanted and to feel important to someone other than myself. I want to be that shining star for someone special. I want to be accepted and acknowledged for my thoughts and ideas. I also want to wake up from this delusional dream and realize that I'm never going to be able to have this...because people who accept this - don't exist in the world anymore.
Someone prove me wrong, I am waiting.
2 comments:
I can't prove that it's possible to find someone too you. I can't even prove it to myself for that matter. I will say this though.
You are far to pretty, intelligent and kind to be single forever. Women of your level are in high demand. Keep your eyes open and don't cloud your vision with negative thoughts of yourself. You'll find what you are looking for.
I understand what your saying Terace and I do feel for you...BUT and I know you'll probably disagree, but the Problem is..You too busy Looking for Love instead of waiting for it.Yes every gets Lonely from time too time..Lord knows I haven't dated in QUITE awhile and my reasons are mine alone, but I consider you a close friend and I'm only saying this cause I care. But I think that maybe if you stop looking for love and focus on other aspect of Life you'll see that there are things out there that you didn't even see right in front of you. Yes I agree with what John said said, you are Pretty,smart,funny and Talented in WAYS that You'll never know and the fact that you are EXACTLY What a Friend is..At least too me you are..and the fact that you let me get u something for Christmas EVEN when you had every Reason not too Just tells me that you are Warm,Caring and Gentle person. It's a Shame we never meet before..But Like I said You EXACTLY what I look for in a Friend, because you have Character, and too me Character defines Personality.So I think that you should wait.Besides..it's better too Wait then too Just grab what u can, cause you never know who OR what you get..
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