Holy Macaroni!

It has been 2 days since I have slept..........

I know I should be thinking, "what the holy fuck is wrong with me?" I am actually highly impressed with the tasks I accomplished during my REM-Rebellion.

I was laying in my bed...2am --- 3am ---3:01am --- the time just seemed to move at an insanely slow pace, and my eyes were not shutting, my body was not giving up, and my mind was not giving into the desire to dream. It was as if I was stuck in a second world limbo - just stuck, not here nor there. Flat-lined.

I was awake when my mother woke my little sister up for school, and being it 6 in the morning...my little sister was cranky. So, I waltzed into her room and kindly asked her (since she tends to scream and belt in the morning) "you would like me to take you to school today?" Seeing it as giving her an extra half hour to sleep, she responded with a brutal and almost painful sounding, "uh-huh"

The drive to school was an energetic one, windows rolled down (minus mine - the driver window was stuck from a fused switch. 483.05 dollars later and its good to go, which will be explained later) the music was blasting, smiles all around. Yes, we were getting stares and looks from people...but who gave a fuck? Not I - I was having fun. I mean, given it was 7:30am in the morning, people driving at insanely slow paces sipping their Dunk'n Donut coffees and scarfing down their bagels and schmere...it was a relatively great way to start a morning. While I was driving, my phone was in my back pocket. I had gotten a new phone not too long ago, do to an unfortunate and very dramatic death to my old one - I upgraded to the Verizon DARE. not a bad phone, all touch screen which makes texting a driving a new challenge to overcome.

Arriving at home, I had all this energy...I had no idea what I was going to do - so I did the only logical thing, I ran. After my first mile I stopped to get some water and realized that I could probably keep going...so I did. 4 miles later -- I stop. Man did I feel great. It has been a while since I ran anything, I was so proud of myself. I mean, c'mon.

After I ran, I showered and hung out for a little before 11:45 when I had to go to Otto's Mini in West Chester to get my window fixed because it had fused and was not working. The people at Otto's all know me by first name I have been there so often. I brought my laptop because I knew I was going to be there for a while. I finally got my car back at 3pm...

That is all I have to say about that.

It all started with Bacon

The other day, my mother yelled at me for making eggs and bacon.

She started rambling about this Swine Flu, and how eating bacon is going to be the end of me.

Well mom, the only thing bacon is going to end is the pants I plan of wearing x amount of days from now.

17 cases at the university. 4 of them actually confirmed - my mother worries like the weather changes in one day. rain, sunshine, hail, rain, snow, sunshine, thunderstorms. from midnight to noon its a constant nag.

The favorite threat that gets thrown my way from my father is, "If you don't do ____ you're going to get kicked out" I have heard that for years.....and still the only time I have been kicked out was when my mother told me to find my real parents because she didn't love me anymore. She denies saying that...but there were 3 other people in the kitchen when she screamed it for the whole universe to hear. I am sure my alter ego in another galaxy on another planet is snickering at the words she pierced my heart with.

All it took was bacon to realize that once again - I am unhappy with my surroundings. I break rules to make myself happy, unaware of who I hurt in the process. Does that make me selfish? Or am I just doing the right thing to look out for myself, for my well being?

I hold in my hand more questions than answers, once again.